Who Shat On The Floor At My Wedding? And Other Crimes
Who Shat On The Floor At My Wedding? was a question shared by brides Helen McLaughlin and Karen Whitehouse after they tied the knot on 11 August, 2018 on a boat in Amsterdam. It was a question that launched a podcast, which led to the hiring of unqualified detective Lauren Kilby, the purchase of a €99 lie detector, and the bothering of some of the world’s best forensic experts - all in an attempt to find out “poo dunnit”. For season 2, the investigative trio take on a brand new mystery set in Sweden (Scandi Noir if you will) called The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case. For season 3, the unqualified detectives attempt to solve real non-crime crimes and ridiculous mysteries submitted by YOU - our precious listeners. Their selection criteria for new cases is simple: “Anything the police laugh at is a case for us.” And because ‘time is money’, all cases need to be cracked within 24 hours. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Episodes
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S3 E15 Phantom Cleaner - Part One
Wednesday, 31 December 2025
What kind of criminal breaks into your home… and cleans it? When a man from Massachusetts leaves the house with his son, he returns to a scene of domestic disturbance. Floors scrubbed. Surfaces polished. Toys in his son’s room neatly rearranged, and intricate toilet paper roses left in the bathrooms. Nothing stolen. Nothing damaged. Just a mysteriously cleaned house, with no explanation why.At first, this appears to be a hopeless case with no leads, no motive and zero suspects. But things take a sharp turn when an unlikely witness emerges. There's only one tiny problem... this witness isn’t...
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S3 E14 Pleasurable Percentages - BONUS
Thursday, 18 December 2025
How good are we at solving crimes… statistically speaking?After several months of operating the Unqualified Detective Agency, we finally attempt to answer the question no one asked but everyone fears: what is our actual crime-solving success rate?A supposedly simple calculation quickly descends into bickering, selective memory, creative accounting, and a spirited debate over what should and definitely should not count as “solved”.To restore order, we bring in a professional statistician to crunch the numbers properly. The result is a percentage so alarming it raises serious questions about ...
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S3 E13 Santa Snatcher
Thursday, 18 December 2025
On 14th December 2019, a child-sized decorative Santa vanished from The Strawberry Hall pub in Dublin.But this wasn’t your average festive felony.Within 24 hours, photos of the kidnapped Santa began appearing on a dedicated Instagram account, mocking the pub, and taunting Ireland.And then came the twist no one was prepared for. Santa wasn’t just stolen… he was being held for ransom. For €5,000, to be precise.As the investigation deepens, the plot thickens with every clue. Was this the work of opportunistic thieves? A carefully orchestrated prank? Or most disturbingly - was this an inside jo...
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S3 E12 Rural Rectal Rampage - Part Four
Thursday, 4 December 2025
In the tense finale of Rural Rectal Rampage, we finally meet the shadowy figure pulling the strings behind the entire scandal.What begins as a simple confrontation unravels into something far more complex… an unexpected motive that forces everyone to rethink everything they thought they knew about the crime… and about themselves.As we piece together the true intent behind the Rampage, we arrive at a dangerous crossroads: is our duty simply to solve crimes…or has this investigation pushed us toward actually committing one?The next case opens on December 18th. Support us on Patreon http://pat...
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S3 E11 Rural Rectal Rampage - Part Three
Thursday, 4 December 2025
A prime suspect suddenly blocks Karen from all form of communication, disappearing without a trace. Meanwhile, a reckless pyramid scheme involving teenagers spirals wildly out of control, taking the case to fresh levels of unprofessionalism.Desperate for answers, Karen takes stalking to bold new heights, while Lauren conducts a final high pressure interrogation that could make or break the entire investigation.Who truly set the Rural Rectal Rampage in motion, and what twisted mind wakes up one day and chooses this life?Part 4 (the finale) is out now.Support us on Patreon http://patreon.com/...
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S3 E10 Rural Rectal Rampage - Part Two
Thursday, 20 November 2025
The investigation reaches new levels of desperation. We find ourselves loitering outside a school, attempting to brief two teenagers on an undercover mission. We consult a nurse about the medical implications of anal insertions. And out of nowhere, a mysterious stranger appears with divine intervention.But nothing prepares us for the final question....is this scandal confined to Chipping Norton…or is it far bigger than we ever imagined?Part three AND four drop December 4th.Support us on Patreon http://patreon.com/whoshatontheflooratmyweddingFollow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmyweddi...
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S3 E9 Rural Rectal Rampage - Part One
Thursday, 6 November 2025
The quiet streets of Chipping Norton are no longer at peace. A phantom prankster - or perhaps an organised ring of pranksters - is targeting local stores and tagging innocent household items with stickers that say “for rectal use only.”As the town’s elderly residents grow increasingly distraught, the pressure mounts on Detective LK and KW to put an end to the chaos. Part Two drops November 20th.Follow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and behind-the-scenes. Sound design by @juanthummler Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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S3 E8 Doggy Bag - Part Two
Thursday, 23 October 2025
Just as Detective LK and KW thought they were closing in on the truth, one shocking revelation blows the whole case wide open.Confusion mounts, new leads emerge, and a tender goodbye is said to Joao, the four legged creature at the heart of the story.Buckle up for the ride - the mystery of this canine's demise is far from over.The next case opens on November 6th. Follow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and behind-the-scenes. Sound design by @juanthummler Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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S3 E7 Doggy Bag - Part One
Thursday, 9 October 2025
Through a dark twist of fate a dead dog named Joao vanishes in the most unlikely theft imaginable.What begins as a bizarre mistake spirals into a rollercoaster of chaos, deception, and the relentless hunt for answers. Each revelation pulls us deeper into shadows where nothing is as it seems.Set against the glittering façade of Paris’s Champs-Élysées, one haunting question lingers: will justice for Joao ever be found?Part two drops October 23rd.Follow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and behind-the-scenes. Sound design by @juanthummler Hosted on Acast. See acas...
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S3 E6 Who Shat In My Dishwasher?
Thursday, 25 September 2025
Veronica’s Saturday morning began like any other, quiet and unremarkable. But by midday, her home had transformed from a place of comfort to a scene of unspeakable violation.The dishwasher, once a symbol of cleanliness, was now a crime scene.Who shat in Veronica's dishwasher and why? A simple yet extremely effective process of elimination proving that we are really good detectives, will uncover the shocking truth.The next case opens on October 9th. Follow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and behind-the-scenes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more i...
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S3 E5 Human v. Bear - Part Two
Thursday, 11 September 2025
In the trial of Human v. Bear, Karen and Detective LK face the intense challenge of becoming opposing lawyers. Will the bears 'zips' be the defence's downfall? Will the muffin top theory topple the prosecution? What will the jury decide?One thing is clear. A verdict will be reached. And there is a lot at stake.A brand new case opens on September 25th. Follow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and behind-the-scenes. Sound design by @juanthummler Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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S3 E4 Human v. Bear - Part One
Thursday, 28 August 2025
In 2023, photos of a sun bear at Hangzhou Zoo in Eastern China broke the internet. Why? Because the bear was waving and looked suspiciously like a bloke in a ill-fitted bear suit.But what is the truth, is this an authentic sun bear or a human in disguise?To get to the bottom of it, the unqualified detectives call in the experts: animatronic bear suit specialist Nik Williams and Dr. Wong, CEO of the Bornean Sun Bear Foundation.But the deeper they dig, the stranger it gets. Suspicions, motives, and questions are piling up. There is only one solution: temporarily hang up the detective hats, do...
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S3 E3 Fecal Fugitive - BONUS
Thursday, 14 August 2025
What is the correct etiquette when facing a digestive dilemma at a wedding? How should the poopetrator at Andrea's wedding have acted to maintain grace and dignity after committing their fecal felony?Detective Lauren Kilby and Assistant to the Detective Karen Whitehouse interview William Hanson - the UK's leading etiquette expert and co-host of legendary podcast 'Help I Sexted My Boss' to get some answers.If you are thinking of becoming a poopetrator, this episode is for you. Tune in now to learn how to commit these crimes in style.The next new case episode will be releasing on September 11...
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S3 E2 Fecal Fugitive - Part Two
Wednesday, 13 August 2025
The race to unmask the poopetrator ends here. In the finale of Fecal Fugitive, Detective LK and Assistant to the Detective KW follow the final leads to flush out the truth. One suspect is released from custody. Another faces the the cold, harsh reality of the evidence against them.In the final interrogation, the motive for the crime is revealed. And a family once torn apart by a fecal disaster is reunited through closure and understanding.Check out the special Fecal Fugitive bonus episode which is live NOW. A brand new case opens on August 28th. Follow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmy...
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S3 E1 Fecal Fugitive - Part One
Thursday, 31 July 2025
A dream wedding in the woods takes a filthy turn when a guest leaves more than just memories behind. With the cops refusing to investigate, the detectives race to unmask the poopetrator. Was it the wedding bean obsessed brother-in-law? A bridesmaid in political sweatpants? There’s only one way to find out, and it may or may not follow standard police procedure. Part two will be releasing on August 14th. Follow @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and behind-the-scenesSound design: @juanthummler Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Season 3 Trailer - When The Cops Say No, We Say Yes
Tuesday, 22 July 2025
WE’RE BACK! This season, ‘Detective’ Lauren Kilby and Assistant to the ‘Detective’, Karen Whitehouse, return to take on a fresh batch of ridiculous mysteries and listener-submitted non-crime crimes from around the world. Our case selection criteria is simple: “anything the cops laugh at is a case for us.” We give ourselves 24 hours to crack each case, and that’s because time is money but also because precision / professionalism are overrated. Follow @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and behind-the-scenes. Episode 1 drops July 31, 2025.Sound design @juanthummler Hosted on Acast...
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S2 BONUS EPISODE - ‘Hawaiian shirt fashion show’
Thursday, 13 February 2025
In this special bonus episode, the team reveal their biggest failure of Season 2.How did they end up in the middle of nowhere in Sweden, with Karen directing a musicless fashion show with 13 models who are all wearing Hawaiian shirts? One thing becomes extremely clear - not all failure leads to success.Follow us on instagram for the case evidence and behind the scenes. And if you’re the victim of a non crime crime, and want to submit your case for pro bono detective services, please report it at whoshatontheflooratmywedding.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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S1 BONUS EPISODE - 'Drunk Women Solving Crime x Who shat on the floor at my wedding'
Wednesday, 28 August 2024
If you've always wondered what would happen if we joined forces with the lovely ladies behind 'Drunk Women Solving Crime' in front of a live audience, then wonder no more, because that's exactly what we did, and you can listen to the outcome in this special one-off collab episode.Tune in to hear us attempt to crack a rather unusal case with theories involving wolverines, mittens and of course class A Drugs. Follow us on instagram to check out the behind the scenes pictures from the show. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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S2 E11 The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case - ‘Logistics of the peep hole”
Thursday, 1 August 2024
In the dramatic finale of The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case, Detective Lauren Kilby and her assistants finally get answers and resolution to the case. Who was the mastermind and what was their motive?Follow us on instagram for the case evidence and behind the scenes. And if you’re the victim of a non crime crime, and want to submit your case for pro bono detective services, please report it at whoshatontheflooratmywedding.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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S2 E10 The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case - ‘Butterfly effect’
Thursday, 25 July 2024
Perpetrator meets victim. And the future of friendships hang in the balance.Motives are unearthed and explained, and a shocking new revelation brings an unexpected twist in the investigation. Detective Lauren’s coathanger theory finally comes into play and we get a match.As the trio finally start getting resolution in the case, it opens up more questions. Things hot up as they hone in on the mastermind and it finally dawns on them what Best friend Vanja meant by “go back to the list”. Will they catch the mastermind? Follow us on instagram for the case evidence and behind the scenes. Hosted ...
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S2 E9 The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case - ‘Thank you and sorry”
Thursday, 18 July 2024
The forensic results from the grey hair are IN and the team finally uncover who the hair belongs to. Will this lead them to the perpetrator?With 2 days left in Sweden, the team are looking for a person that Vanja knows and trusts, and who Kristina knows, and who made the important phonecall to Vanja on 30th June.So they go on a rampage to ambush final suspects’ and dig through their phone history (without warrants or permission). Will they find a phone call that matches?Follow us on instagram for the case evidence and behind the scenes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more inform...
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S2 E8 The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case - ‘The man in the yellow jacket'
Thursday, 11 July 2024
The team drive straight over to best friend Vanja’s house to find out what information she’s been hiding from Kristina for 12 years. And the answer truly rocks the trio to their core in what becomes the biggest twist in the case so far. What secrets lie between the two best friends, and will their friendship survive this revelation?Having staged a well planned ambush at suspect Kjell’s house, the team finally get some answers. Feeling like they’re honing in on the mastermind, they submit the grey hair that was extracted from the suitcase in for forensic examination. Jo Millington pulls thro...
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S2 E7 The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case - ‘Scratchy scratch’
Thursday, 4 July 2024
The clock is ticking. The detectives only have four days left in Sweden to crack this case.Cousin Per and Cousin Klas have contradicting stories and it’s time to find out who is lying and why. Some key evidence is unearthed which places one of these cousins at the scene of the crime on the day the tiny suit appeared. Detective LK puts the military edition USB lie detector v3.0 through its paces*.Then, out of the blue, a suspect steps forward with some shocking new information that will change the course of the investigation. Will this information help the team track down the perpetrator?Fol...
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S2 E6 The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case - ‘Midsommar Madness’
Thursday, 27 June 2024
The moment the team have been frantically preparing for has finally arrived - it’s time to go undercover at the elk slaughterhouse. Will ‘Uncle Mike’s” fake undercover identity be exposed? What new leads will be unearthed? Will the undercover operation be a success?Follow us on instagram for the case evidence and behind the scenes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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S2 E5 The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case - ‘Daddy Issues’
Thursday, 20 June 2024
It’s T minus seven hours until the undercover operation commences. In this episode, the 'detectives' and Professor Mike Berry nervously make their final preparations for the big event. Under the careful supervision of forensic scientist Jo Millington, the team run forensics on the evidence and extract their first bit of DNA evidence - one which could be integral to the case. Follow us on instagram for the case evidence and behind the scenes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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S2 E4 The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case - ‘Eye candy’
Thursday, 13 June 2024
The team arrive in Sweden and the pressure is on to crack the case before they leave in 10 days’ time. They launch head first into their first big interrogation with the victim’s ex lover Mikael - the man Kristina dated at the time both the tiny suit and suitcase arrived on her veranda. After unnerving the suspect with some of their more unorthodox interrogation techniques, the trio throw Professor Mike Berry into the room to psycho analyse Mikael. Was this a crime of passion? Follow us on instagram for the case evidence and behind the scenes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more...
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S2 E3 The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case - ‘Casual tie’
Thursday, 6 June 2024
The trio come up with a genius but high risk idea that will put them in a very uncomfortable and potentially dangerous situation. Will it be worth it? Is danger a necessity to crack this case? Preparations for Sweden continue with the interrogations of 3 young men, one of whom brings with him a significant conflict of interest. And a shocking revelation comes to light which takes the mystery to a whole new bizarre level. Follow us on instagram for the case evidence and behind the scenes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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S2 E2 The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case - ‘Meatballs at IKEA’
Thursday, 30 May 2024
In this episode, the team officially kick off the investigation and introduce Black Lake - the remote hamlet in Sweden where the crime took place. Initial evidence is assessed and some calls with suspects reveal some worrying contradictions in their stories. Who is lying and why? The trio consult Professor Mike Berry to understand the psychology and possible motives behind these two serious incidents of reverse theft. Was this just a harmless prank, or was the motive more sinister?Follow us on instagram for the case evidence and behind the scenes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for ...
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S2 E1 The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case - ‘Worn but washed’
Thursday, 23 May 2024
In this very first episode of 'The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case' we delve into the details of a crime that took place in a remote village in Sweden over a decade ago. Join former victims of Season 1, Helen and Karen, and ‘Detective’ Lauren Kilby as the trio introduce the victim of this new bizarre mystery and show you what tricks they have up their sleeves to crack the case.Follow us on instagram for the case evidence and behind the scenes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Season 2 Trailer - The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case
Tuesday, 14 May 2024
The trio behind hit podcast “Who Shat On the Floor At My Wedding?” are back! This season the three unqualified detectives take on a brand new mystery set in Sweden called The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case. Being specialists in “non-crime crimes”, their selection criteria for new cases is simple: “Anything the police laugh at is a case for us.” And the new sinister Swedish case fits this brief. Follow us on instagram for the case evidence and behind the scenes. Episode 1 launches on May 23rd 2024. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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